dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
