There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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