Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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