I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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