his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
