I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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