After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
