So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
