Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
