I heard we made out
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
