Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
