If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
