i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
