Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
