the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
