3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
