i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
