Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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