We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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