My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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