My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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