.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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