her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
