It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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