Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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