Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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