i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
