Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
