well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
