idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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