does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So apparently I’m into choking now
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
