This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Randomize
