OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
