And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
