what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
