you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
