We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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