Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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