I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
