My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
