This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize