I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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