Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I supernannyed him into submission
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
