i can't believe i had my finger in that
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
