Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
