Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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