so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize