two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
