A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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