zippers are such a cool invention
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
