I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
