Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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