Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
