This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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